Friends,
It has taken me three days to write. I have had a lot to process but am thankful that the things that transpired took place over the weekend where we had no distractions, no jobs to run to, and no special occaisons to attend. I am biting my lower lip and holding back tears as I share with you that we lost Precious KC on Saturday. I keep saying "I'm sorry" as if to say it to her - in a way I feel partially responsible for the way she died.....but again know that the inevitable was coming upon us closer and closer each day as we saw her body failing her. Yet her spirit and vitality were so strong! Craig shared that she was, by far, one of the toughest horses with the most determination he has ever known.
Precious KC was a great race horse. I won't go into detail, but she did race and made around $90,000 before her body broke down. At that time she was taken back home to a pasture in Illinois and turned out with a stallion. She didn't take, but that had to have been because of her physical condition. She was donated and Craig went down years ago to pick her up. He called me on his cell, asking if he was sure he had to bring her home. He did not know if she would make the trip, her physical condition was that bad. He knew what the answer from me would be, but it went against what he wanted to do. She arrived safe and sound, laid down to rest, and after that got used to her life here at our farm as a sanctuary horse with Haiaku. They were a married pair, those two! Joined at the hip, one followed the other, although Precious never admitted that she was close to ANYONE until Taser Gun came along. She didn't even like to let on that she liked Craig or me until this past year, when her dependence upon us was so evident.
Up until the end, Precious was kicking and running in between her "bouts" where she had to lie down.
I think I looked into Precious's eyes two thousand times, or maybe more over the past several years. I can still hear myself gently calling, "Preshhhhhh-ussssssss" when going out to get her at night to tuck her in her stall. When she went down on Thursday night I had been at the mall with my kids. I came home after dark and went out to get her but she looked comfortable lying there so I left her. On Friday she began a strange kind of thrashing that involved only her front legs. I wrapped her legs and saw her breathing more heavily than normal. On Saturday I knew we would be calling the vet, as a shot of banamine had not improved her ability to stand and she was breathing hard and was sweating. I felt her ears and head as it laid on my lap on Saturday afternoon for what seemed like an eternity and I knew in my heart she was suffering and her head was cold. Her heart was failing.........and I knew we must do the right thing. Rachel and I went to call the vet. I started chores and went into the arena with a bucket of water and she nickered at me. I felt it a good sign and went to offer her the water. She dunked her whole mouth and nose deep into the bucket as if to swallow the whole thing, and when she swallowed the water came back up and through her nose and she began gasping. I knew something was very wrong and ran out to see if the vet would hurry along. Rachel cried. Ethan and Zach stayed with Precious. We laid hay under her that day so she would be very comfortable and not get sand into her mouth. We told her how much we loved her. We tried to lift her up with the skid steer with straps underneath her but she had given up the fight. We pulled, we tugged, we encouraged and cheered. Her eyes were closed. She was tired.
As I exited the barn with Rachel and went into the shed to get feed, I saw Ethan and Zach shoot past me and run to Craig who was on the riding lawn mower. I knew then that something was wrong. They said they saw her quit breathing. I got down on my knees and didn't know whether to scream "WHY?" or rejoice. She was free of pain. Right then in my spirit I heard God whisper peace to my heart, and saw a vision of Haiaku and Star Cheetah and Asha and Brittany welcoming Precious as they raced across the gold-lined pastures of heaven together. But...it still hurts. For many years life has centered around Precious and the other sanctuary horses here. Get up in the morning and turn them out - make sure they get all their supplement. Order extra. Have blankets on hand - and they are the last thing we do at night before going in. Vacation? Make sure someone knows how to care for Precious and the others who were so needy. Worry. Worry more. Pray.
I am so happy she is free now. Our hearts are still heavy. Taser Gun is lonely. As I cleaned up the yard on Saturday night I watched as Craig lovingly picked Precious up with the equipment and take her down the hill to her final resting place. He covered her with a blanket as he dug the hole. Rachel picked a thousand dandelions to put on her grave. She cried as she picked them.
We all said "so long" and believe God has rewarded her for being such a courageous race horse and a brave sanctuary horse who put up with a lot of pain but overcame it by showing us no matter how much it hurt there was still something she wanted to live for. At the end, it was Taser Gun who gave her quality of life. And...........maybe she hung on for us..........for me..........but I hope not. I sure will miss her. She has left an impression in all of our hearts.
Hug me!
Susan
