Christmas Eve and Christmas Day are accomplished - never watched The Nativity Story, which was so important for me to see with my family, but all of you know that even the best laid plans of mice and men.........combined with a horrible case of flu among most of our family members, has delayed the perfect plan.
We all were together, we all attended church, we honored God for sending His son, we were amazed at His grace and blessings, and now face the end of 2012 with mixed feelings.
I came home tonite along with my family, all of us coughing, sneezing, headaches, congestion, aching and weak beyond belief, but still keeping our chins up. I remember my mother's brave decade or more with her Parkinsons, her tragedies in losing my father and all of her belongings in a house fire two weeks prior, and realizing that life just isn't fair, yet God promises to be with us through it all, and my mom stood on that promise. There is a gaping hole in my heart still, but I realize mom is celebrating along with the Lord in places we cannot even comprehend, and before we know it we will join her. Not that I am in a hurry, but as life goes along we realize there are no guarantees for any of us, and faith is really important.
I am reflecting back upon my life and missing so many influential people. People who introduced me to the world that I was so passionate about, despite my parents scratching their heads and hoping it was just a phase - the world of horses. I am reflecting back upon my best friend, Perri, and her mom and dad, Shirley and Al, all of which are still actively involved in the horse world. They were the first family I knew as a three year old, and I was magnetized to their place where I grew up in the Almaden Valley because their life was what I dreamed of - horses, dogs, cats, even rats! I got my first taste of riding with them, and my love for horses deepened as I grew into something I could not contain. My dad "relocated" us to Wisconsin when I was 15 ( you don't want to do that to a 15 year old by the way) for a more "wholesome" lifestyle. My rebellion at being in Wisconsin blossomed, but many good things eventually came of it. I met people who shared my passion for horses. My dad "fenangled" a deal where a local farmer could have free pasture for one of his mares in exchange for me being able to ride the red Quarter horse named Lady in the late 70's. I can't tell you how many times I called Bernie up, wanting to know why his steady mare had bucked me off! He let me figure it out...........and before long I was riding her from my parents farm to Chaseburg all by myself - about an 8 mile ride. I met so many horse people back then - there were grill-outs, bar b cues, trail rides, wagon rides, and there were people willing to come pick me up and let me tag along. I met Ray Wangen back when I was 14. I did not have a horse to ride (someone was using my Lady from Bernie), so Ray brought an 28 year old "Indian pony" with one blue eye for me to take on a 2 day trail ride out by Cashton. I was so nervous my heart was POUNDING. I got on that old gelding and half way up the trail to the top of the hill the pony/horse decided this was not for him and he began all the antics he could to get me off. I eventually flew off him and landed, and I heard lots of laughter. LAUGHTER! Then Ray's voice telling me to get back on. If my dad had known this......I dont' even want to tell you what he would have done, but I sucked it up and got back on, petrified. We finished the ride, and I was hooked. Between my childhood friend and my Wisconsin experiences, my love for animals and the horse has become a lifetime passion that won't go away.
All these years later, I begin to miss the influential people who have since passed. We lost Ray in 1998, and I thought my heart would not endure, as my dad had just suffered a very serious heart attack that year and was in the hospital at the time of his funeral. I went to my dad's bedside after Ray's funeral, with tear-stained eyes, recounting how the Amish community had come together to be at Ray's funeral for all he had done for them. The funeral procession included Ray's precious chuck wagon, pulled by one of his favorite teams, and people walking behind the wagon all the way from the funeral home to the church. My dad listened, then said, "You don't need to be sad for him any more". I never understood those words until later.
Just a couple of years ago we lost Bernie, the man who had given me my first ever horse who bucked me off until we learned how to get along with each other. Bernie taught me how to be tough, how to get back on, and how to care for my first horse 24/7. Lady taught me how to catch that hard to catch horse, and how to handle a bit of attitude. Bernie had a team of ponies that were sponsored by Rocky's Restaurant in Stoddard, so he was popular at many many parades throughout the years. I saw him at Wild West Days about 3 summers ago and realized he had really slowed down, but was still out there in his late 80's doing what he loved.
Where are all of the old timers? Am I now an old timer? Do I continue to try to spread the love and passion as the people in my life did? I don't think I'm old yet, but I realize there are less and less people with the passion around.......and it scares me. Let me always continue to be an inspiration to anyone and everyone about the racing industry, the history of harness racing, the love of the sport, the overall love of horses, and the knowledge that Standardbreds make the best ever trail horses when they can no longer race.
Merry Christmas, everyone!!!
